Eva has won 3 awards this week!
See her excellent work on the English Key Stage 2 tab under Children's work.
An outstanding story!
Your ideas are very well structured. Reference to the setting and detail is excellent. Your key character is very believable and I enjoyed the unexpected danger you included. You are starting to include more descriptions and figurative devices - well done! Now use metaphors, the curse followed... and the ghostly serpent... Remember that you can also use more punctuation for effect.
Your poem on diversity, "Over and Over" is very clear and makes significant points. Very well structured and thought through! You are a superstar writer! Please save your work under a file for writing competitions coming up. More information and details to follow!